


Regrets

by robronsugsy



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-17 13:41:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3531371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robronsugsy/pseuds/robronsugsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron is given shocking news when he is informed his father, Gordon Livesy, had passed away. Despite their estranged relationship, Aaron can't help but regret not seeing his father again after so many years. Struggling, Aaron decides to go to the funeral alone...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There had been rumours about Aaron's dad Gordon possibly being killed off-screen... I decided to adapt that into my new fic :D Robron of course... set around this time in the show's canon.

"Aaron, you can't keep doing this!" Chas bellowed across the pub, as Aaron had walked in after his second run of the day.

 

Aaron didn't had the energy to listen though, he just kept walking into the back of the pub.

"I'm going for a shower!".

Chas sighed, and continued serving drinks.

 

Some time had passed, and Chas was joined by Cain, Moira, Paddy and Adam.

"He in any better mood than yesterday?" Adam questioned.

"What do you think?". Chas just rolled her eyes.

 

"I'm looking for Aaron Livesy?"

 

Chas spun in the spot and everyone turned their heads to the mysterious voice.

"Sandra?!"

Chas was shocked. She hadn't seen Sandra for years, she'd forgotten all about that part of her life. Part of her and Aaron's life.

"Chas... is Aaron here?"

"How did you know where to find us? Gordon not creeping around somewhere to see the son he abandoned 7 years ago?" Chas snapped.

"Is he here? I need to talk to him." Sandra replied sternly.

Chas knew something was wrong.

Moments later, Aaron appeared from the back room, before noticing the atmosphere, then noticing Sandra.

"What the hell are you doing here?!"

Much like Chas, Aaron hadn't seen his fathers wife for 7 years. He hadn't seen his father either. Aaron had forgotten what his father looked like. He gave Sandra a disgusted look, he never liked her.

"I need to talk to you, can we go in the back?"

 

Aaron was ready to tell her where to go, but he just hadn't the energy. The fight had left Aaron weeks ago.

"Fine." he muttered, before walking into the back, Sandra not far behind.

Chas followed suit, not wanting to miss out.

 

**

 

"Go on then, you've got 1 minute." Aaron snapped. He wasn't in the mood for this.

"Aaron... it's your dad. He's.... He passed away, a few weeks back."

Both Aaron and Chas were shocked, but neither really gave away their emotions. Chas stared at her son.

Aaron didn't know how to feel. This is the man who more or less handed him off years ago. He'd thought of him every now and again, but his thoughts were only filled with hate, anger, pain. Aaron had been through so much. And his father had been part of none of it. Paddy had, Paddy was his father.

 

But even still, Aaron always had that feeling in the back of his head. Buried deep down. He despised the man, but he was still his father.

 

"I'm going for a run" Aaron whispered, before jumping from his seat and storming out the door.

 

"AARON!" Chas shouted, quick behind him.

Aaron stormed through the pub, barging past people, causing a commotion.

"What's with you face ache" Cain joked.

"Get lost." Aaron snapped, crashing through the doors.

"AARON!" Chas repeated.

"What's wrong?"

 

Chas looked to Paddy, her eyes filled with worry.

Sandra soon emerged from the back room. "I know he didn't care, but his father did. Despite whatever happened between them, Gordon's biggest regret was not seeing his son grow up. The funeral's tomorrow, here are the details. I want him to come. We all do. You're welcome to join him... Chas, just... please, ask him."

Instead of snapping, or scowling, Chas just sighed. "I'll try."

Sandra mouthed "thank you" towards Chas, before slowly leaving the pub.

Everyone was watching Chas, confused as to what they'd just witnessed.

"Chas?" Paddy questioned.

"Aaron's dad died."

Everyone just looks at Chas.

"But... he hates his dad?" Adam interjected.

"He was still his dad... no matter what Aaron says, he still feels something for him." Paddy answered... filled with sadness for Aaron, knowing that despite whatever Aaron would say or show, he'd still feel it. "He wouldn't of walked off if he didn't."

"Will you tell him... about the funeral?" Cain wondered.

"I shouldn't... after all his father's done. But he needs to know. I'm scared he'd regret it if he didn't go and he'd resent me in the future that I never told him. I don't think I really have a choice here."

They all looked to each other.

 

**

 

 

Aaron hadn't slept. He hadn't moved from the spot he laid in over 10 hours ago. He reached out for his phone and scrolled through his contacts.

And there was his name.

Robert.

He hovered over the call button....

 

No.

 

It'd been a few weeks now... he could do this. He needed someone to guide him. But him? Why would he care? No, that was a stupid thought, Robert is not someone he can turn to.

 

**

 

Chas and Paddy sat at the table, drinking cups of tea.

"I'm just worried about him, I'm always worried but with everything with Robert, the way he's been. I just don't want him to.. I don't want him in that place again." Chas held her head.

"He won't be. He knows he has us this time, he has us to be there for him and to talk to. He'll be fine."

As Paddy said this, Aaron appeared, wearing a black suit.

Chas and Paddy just looked to him.

"You're going?" Chas questioned.

Aaron just nodded.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No... I need to do this alone. I'm sorry."

Chas just looked at her son with a sympathetic smile.

 

Aaron walked into the pub full of people, becoming the centre of attention for his suit.

Aaron wasn't paying attention, but Robert was there, sat with his sister in the corner of the pub.

"Another court trial? How many is that now?" Jimmy laughed, trying to make a joke.

Aaron just shot him a look, before walking off sombrely.

 

"So he's going then..." Victoria muses rhetorically.

"Where?" Robert couldn't help but be intrigued. He never wanted to, he had been pushing Aaron to the back of his mind. But he was always there. Every time Robert entered the pub he'd anticipate to see Aaron. Or in the café on his lunch break, where Robert could order an Americano and leer at him across the room, hoping Aaron would look back.

"His dad's funeral. Adam said last night his step-mum came and told him. He's not been close with him, but I'd think that even after all Aaron dealt with with his dad, he'd be cut up as much as anyone."

Robert listened to Victoria's words... concerned.

 


	2. Continued

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron arrives at the church facing a part of his life he left behind...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the sake of the fic, I'm going to pretend that Aaron doesn't have a half-sister (Gordon and Sandra's daughter).

The journey felt like a lifetime. Sat in the back of the taxi, twiddling his thumbs. Aaron had felt so much these past few months... but he felt nothing.

No, that's a lie.

He did.

Alone.

 

The taxi soon came to a stop, and Aaron realizes the destination. He slips the taxi driver some money, before stumbling out of the taxi.

Aaron began to shake furiously, he didn't know what to do with himself.

He looked up at the church that stood at the other side of the road, before walking forward slowly.

 

He arrived outside the door... but he froze. Was this the right decision?

Aaron doubled back and began to walk away, before he froze once more. The hearse pulled up in front of him, with a limo behind which several people came from, including Sandra.

 

"Aaron..."

She was a shocked to see him.

Aaron was unable to speak, but Sandra walked beside him and tried to clutch his arm. But Aaron pulled back. He didn't want to be touched. He didn't want it. Nobody had touched him.. not since Robert.

Sandra understood his actions, smiled faintly to him, before walking onwards. The coffin was taking out of the hearse and was carried into the church, which Aaron followed behind.

As the coffin made its way down the aisle, Aaron sat himself at the back of the church.

 

Aaron continued to shake, unable to sit still. Tears beginning to form in his eyes. He wasn't sure why. Was he upset? Was it finally hitting him? He placed his hands on his legs, trying to stop himself from shaking, unsuccessfully.

As he looked down, he felt something brush besides him, and something grab his hand. Aaron's face shot up and besides him, and there he was. Robert had grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly.

Robert gave him a faint smile, starring right in his eyes.

Aaron didn't have to ask anything, he didn't want to. Robert's touched made things, even if for a second, okay. It soothed him. He stopped shaking. Aaron placed his other hand onto Roberts, and latched on tightly.

 

**

 

The service had gone on for some time... all they were saying was just background noise. But then, his name was mentioned, and Aaron's head rose.

"Aaron, I have a note that your father wrote before he died... he never knew if you'd get it, but I made a promise that I'd make it happen."

She then began to read loudly...

 

_Aaron, my son, I know there are very few words that could change the past. Change the way things went between us. I should of stuck by you, I shouldn't of give up. But I was too weak. I wasn't the person who could mould you into the great man I know you will be today. You made mistakes out of the feelings you felt towards me and my choices. There is no bigger regret I've had in my life than losing you. I don't deserve to be called your father, but you will always be my son._

 

Aaron was unable to cope and cried uncontrollably, finally unleashing the feelings he had buried inside him. Robert hated seeing him like this, he had to look away, but kept his hand firmly gripped with Aaron's.

 

**

 

The service had ended, and everyone had begun to file from the church. Aaron continued to sit in his seat, before he was approached by Sandra once more.

"I just want to say, thank you for coming. It means a lot. I know that might not mean much to you, but it really does."

Aaron just nodded his head slightly.

"So who's this then?"

Aaron looked at Robert momentarily, unsure of what to say.

"Erm, just a friend of mine-"

"I'm Robert, Aaron's partner."

WHAT? Did he just say that? Did Robert, the "straight man who just so happened to sleep with guys now and again" just say that?

"Oh. Aaron and I didn't know you were..."

Aaron just looked away in slight embarrassment and disgust. He always hated that people presumed things about him.

"Well, we're having the wake at the pub down the road, you're both welcome to come, if you want."

"I.. I don't..."

Aaron jumped from his seat, and stormed from the church. Robert apologized, before running after him.

 

**

 

Aaron sat beside the road, looking straight in front of him.

Robert came up and sat beside him, sighing and looking to him. The two sat in silent.

 

"Why did you come?" Aaron muttered, breaking the silence.

Robert hesitated.

"You were alone, I knew you'd say to everyone you'd want to be alone when you wouldn't of. I had nothing to do, so I thought I'd come." he said in a cool tone, holding back the real reason.

Aaron just scoffed to himself. He hoped Robert would say something more meaningful, but fully expected him not to. Because Robert didn't do that. Robert noticed...

"Or... it might of been because I saw your face when you walked out of the pub. I saw how lonely you looked. I wanted to be there for you. I don't wanna see you upset. That's the last thing I want."

Aaron turned his head slightly, and let out a faint smile.

"Thanks."

Robert looked at Aaron for several seconds while Aaron fiddled with his shoes.

"I mean it. I don't want you to feel like you don't have anyone because you do. You have me. I don't want you to think that I don't care because I do. I want to be there for you to talk to. Anytime, any day. I don't want to be the guy you look at with guilt and pain. I want to be the friend you can turn to."

Aaron looked to Robert, eyes filled with tears again.

"I don't wanna feel alone any more."

Aaron broke down, Robert wrapping his hands around Aaron's head and embraced him, tears forming in his own eyes, as he placed kisses to Aaron's head.


End file.
